Two days ago it was my 34th birthday. It sounds unbelievable and funny!
When I look back at my life I for sure thought that in my mid thirties I will be that calm and settled woman, with mid long hair, smiling politely to everybody and having a mountain of serious topics to discuss. That I will pass the stage of curiosity and will be satisfied with one settled style which suits me the best. That after investing a decade in studies will be so happy to stick to my profession, without even thinking about starting some other. That I will be happy to have those moments when I do nothing and I just AM.
Instead I am everything but calm. My hair is lately pink. I smile loud only when I mean it otherwise I have quite bitchy face. I have mountain serious and unserious topics to discuss – and this I like to do all the time! I am fashion obsessed, keeping clothes 15 years old in the closet and growing whole range of emotional relationships with them. After studying for 10 years, two master thesis later I could not wait to have time to implement this blog as my creative outlet – to research my passions in a structured way – fashion, food, sports, traveling, photography…and to share it with others. This gives me even more energy to develop my legal and economic skills to preserve diversity and make my day interesting… I have never peace, I am a workaholic and I can not just be. I am when I do. When I do not I start to fade. And fading is not my style…. I like to glow!
Could not help not to think about that. About how it is possible that there are those “reasonable” expectations we put on ourselves and then, on the other hand, are that facts of life which makes us as we are? How it is possible that the “reasonable” me pre-exists in my mind as some should be could be me – where did it come from? From school education, movies, educational programs or our environments? Is that the safe harbour our mothers wanted for us? Or some final development stage just some reach? Are the rest of us underdeveloped? And are those who are “developed” happy? Or they are trying to become something else and reach some other “development” stage?
Not sure what is the answer but can say one for sure – through my wild and calm periods in life was always sticking to that what I have believed in and what made me happy. Sometimes it was also necessary to escape from reality in order to be happy. Sometimes you need to face it. But what is important is to be happy today, not to wait tomorrow. This is what my mom has thought me and kept repeating it to me whole life…she was a great life coach. And this is what I can tell you it has confirmed itself in last 34 years:
– do more of what makes you happy
– be happy today and now, do not wait for tomorrow
– discover little things which bring smile to your face and do one of them every day
– cherish and keep close people who make you smile
– find a way to express your creativity and use it often
– be decisive about your goals – one decisive person is always in majority
– surround your self with positive and proactive people
– leave people who put you down
– dream big
– love your body – as much as possible: eat healthy, sleep enough, train hard
– spoil your self with little things every day!
Have a great Sunday! Love, Jenny!